About This Blog

Let me start off with anecdote.

One day I was having a casual conversation with a dear friend of mine. When in the middle of the conversation she dropped an opinion on a social issue. This triggered me to want to unpack it and start a deep conversation. She was not in to it. And after several attempts of her trying to end the discussion, which only led to me unpacking more subjects for discussion. She wisely stopped responding. I kept on rambling all day, every thought which came to mind during my activities were poured in to the chat. Until she broke silence to confront me with my behaviour. Frustrated she wrote one final plea to end my ramblings, which stopped me for about three hours. Until I wrote one final message I convinced myself was meant to end the discussion. But was really veiled attempt to restart it...

Am I even having a discussion or am I trying to force a monologue? 

I read that final message and looked at the size of it. This isn't healthy... I do this often and it drives people away... I read the whole string of messages and recognized the impulsive nature of my responses. It was ugly and got personal way too quickly. The discussion started out good, but we quickly got off point. And where I should have agreed to let go, I just couldn't. Despite obvious social cues. And it ended up looking like a monologue. But all the while I was aching for a response. I didn't want it to be a monologue. I want my thoughts to be discussed. But I have too many thoughts and often want to discuss them all at once...

Is it a deep seated desire to be heard and have ones thoughts judged? 

I've done a Jung personality test in de past and found out I have the INFJ personality type. It is the rarest and the most introverted personality of all the types. As a result the rich inner world introverts usually walk around with, is extraordinarily large in me. I think long and hard when I'm alone in my head. And as a result my opinions are well thought out. I am also very self-critical and want my thoughts to be judged by others. I can't stop expressing my opinions, discuss them and weigh them against the opinion of others. Lest my inner world becomes so far removed from the outer world that I become a rambling fool...

Is there a way for me to express myself without driving away my friends?

My friend perhaps jokingly told me I should become a politician, then I can spend my entire day arguing. I laughed. The day I become a politician will be the day I destroy my soul. But she has a point, I should channel my thoughts in to the public in a healthy way. This is where this blog comes in. Whenever I feel like I can't contain myself I will remind myself of this blog and refrain from overwhelming my friends and family. I'm an INFJ, writing should be one of my strengths.

To my dear friend.

Let this blog be a monument to every unwanted discussion I have dragged you and others through. I sincerely apologize. A person like me should think before he speaks. Or better yet write it down, read it, revise it, rinse and repeat. May this blog help me express my thoughts to the world whenever you're not available. And may you always remind me to "Put it in a blog" whenever I start rambling.

To my readers.

Feel free to discuss my posts, set me straight or attempt to change my mind. I want to improve myself. Just be respectful.

Yours truly,

The Voluntaryist Rambler